I Know A Blog

I Know A Blog

I, Noah, (do in fact) blog.

  • About Me
  • Am I Single-Handedly Destroying The Grocery Store Cashier Industry?

    Am I Single-Handedly Destroying The Grocery Store Cashier Industry?
    January 14, 2023

    I almost always choose the self-checkout option at grocery stores. Does this make me a bad person? And what effect do I have on the job market because of it?

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  • Rian Johnson Makes Movies For Dummies

    Rian Johnson Makes Movies For Dummies
    December 28, 2022

    I watched Glass Onion last night – and while I found it wildly entertaining, I also think Rian Johnson thinks I am an idiot. Don’t worry – he thinks you are too!

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  • A Roaring Good Time Camping at the Zoo

    A Roaring Good Time Camping at the Zoo
    November 5, 2022

    Camping overnight at the zoo, and the only thing separating you from a pack of hungry lions is a mesh fence – what could go wrong?

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  • NASCAR Driver ‘Games’ the Competition

    NASCAR Driver ‘Games’ the Competition
    November 1, 2022

    Something cool actually happened in NASCAR this weekend, which brought back fond memories of my childhood. And along the way, I insult every racing fan imaginable.

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  • Where Has All the Glitter Gone?

    Where Has All the Glitter Gone?
    October 31, 2022

    Apparently, there is a glitter shortage in the world… and the glitter industry has a lot more secrets than you realize. What do they have to hide? Let’s find out.

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  • What To Do When You’re Expecting (A Birthday Text From Your Friend)

    What To Do When You’re Expecting (A Birthday Text From Your Friend)
    October 29, 2022

    Who doesn’t love getting birthday texts from your friends and family? Makes for a great day – until you realize your good friend, Matt, is once again choosing not to recognize your birth.

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  • Dennis Rodman: International Man of Mystery

    Dennis Rodman: International Man of Mystery
    August 22, 2022

    Brittney Griner has been trapped in a Russian prison for over a month with no end in sight. Which means there’s only one man for the job…

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  • Nashville Protesters Take “Firm Stance” Against Starbucks

    Nashville Protesters Take “Firm Stance” Against Starbucks
    August 18, 2022

    A little excitement today in Nashville as I got to witness my first ever in-person protest in front of a Starbucks.

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  • Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?

    Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?
    August 3, 2022

    Why does Eminem’s music suck so bad now? And why does he look so weird? The answer may shock you…

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  • Bring Back Presidential Beards

    Bring Back Presidential Beards
    August 2, 2022

    We look back on the greatest era in presidential aesthetic: the Facial Hair Revolution. Who were the major players and what could have been for the presidents that followed?

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  • MEAT the Next Great Diet

    MEAT the Next Great Diet
    July 31, 2022

    Looking for the next big thing in dieting? It’s time to eat like the king of the jungle — with the Carnivore Diet.

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  • Kavanaugh Aborts Dinner Plans

    Kavanaugh Aborts Dinner Plans
    July 10, 2022

    Brett Kavanaugh made a Mission Impossible-style escape from his dinner this past week — and we have some questions for him.

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  • I Don’t Like Tom Hanks (Anymore)

    I Don’t Like Tom Hanks (Anymore)
    June 29, 2022

    Tom Hanks is a shell of his former-self. I don’t like him anymore, and you shouldn’t either.

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  • He Blogs Now?

    He Blogs Now?
    June 27, 2022

    My first blog. Ever. A rambling mess covering the story of why I started writing again, the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, mermaids, and more.

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