What To Do When You’re Expecting (A Birthday Text From Your Friend)

Yesterday was my birthday.

Nothing crazy. I like to celebrate with a nice, relaxing day.

Worked for most of the day – but didn’t actually work too much.

Went out to dinner with my fiancé – a tasty little street taco place.

Margs, verde salsa, guac, 6 tacos. The works.

Came home and watched Thursday Night Football and hit a couple bets.

That’s a good day in my books.

Throughout the day heard from a lot of family and friends.

Mostly texts. A couple calls. A few Facebook posts from the stragglers that are still doing that (why is it always people you haven’t spoken to in years?).

I am always very appreciative of all the people I hear from on my birthday – and truthfully I don’t need all the messages to have a good day.


When you don’t hear from someone that you consider a really good friend – what’s the reaction?

My reaction was: “What the fuck, Matt?”

Look, I don’t expect/need to hear from everyone on my birthday.

I’m not that vain.

But I think we all have those people that we’re especially close with that you assume will reach out – and when they don’t, you can’t help but be a little surprised.

I also throw in a little grace period, too.

I’ll take a belated ‘Happy Birthday’ – the sentiment is still very much appreciated a day or so after.

Two of my friends did that today, and I told them: “Hey, thanks. I appreciate it”

But as those texts and calls come in, and you’re checking off that list in your mind of all your close friends and family members reaching out – you get to a point when you realize that you may not be getting that birthday text from Matt.

Maybe he forgot?

Hey, that’s reasonable. You’re going to miss some of your friend’s birthdays here or there – it’s a little bit different than family, which I think carries a different weight.

Believe me, I’ve been there.

A couple years back I missed one of my closest friends birthdays and called him about a week later pretty drunk and profusely apologizing.

After that I actually added all my close friend’s birthdays to the calendar on my phone, so I don’t miss one again.

Matt pulled this shit last year too, though – and I gave him some grief for it. So figured this time around, I would hear from him.

Not the case.

And there’s more…

Because we also live in the age of social media (for better or worse).

Me and the fiancé were having a good time and snapped some pics out at dinner. Threw up an Insta story: “Birthday Margs” with a fun little dancing margarita sticker.

Wouldn’t you know it, that son of a bitch Matt looked right at it and still nothing.

Is Matt actually my friend?

Does he secretly hate me?

Does he wish me an un-happy birthday?

We spoke on the phone a week ago – chatted for a good 30 minutes.

And still… he openly chose not to recognize my day of birth.

So what’s the play?

Part of me wanted to text him today and say: “Hey fuck-face. Thanks for wishing me a ‘Happy Birthday’ yesterday. Oh wait…”

You can’t be that guy, though.

I did that in high school when a girl I really liked didn’t wish me a happy birthday.

“So I guess you forgot my birthday yesterday? <//3 :(“

Yeah, I learned my lesson from that.

Truth is, there’s just not a whole lot you can do in this situation.

I can ignore him on his birthday coming up, but turns out that may not mean much to him.

Plus I like to be the bigger man when it comes to birthdays and well-wishes.

I am going to see him in 2 months – so I think the play is going to be same as last year: bring it up when we’re kind of drunk, give him some grief, and wait another year to see what happens (I’ll be counting the days).

And for all of you that think I am being dramatic…

Listen. I’m joking here.


It’s not actually that big of a deal.

This does not ruin our friendship (if it still exists).

But also… thanks for spitting in my face on my birthday, Matt.

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